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From Robert’s Mailbox:
Dreaming with Young Children

Question from Paul F.: How would you introduce a young child to the world of dreaming? Or How would I ask my three-year-old son what he’s dreaming without him having a grasp of what dreams are?

Robert’s reply: Young children actually know more about dreams than most adults. In a sense, they have just come out of the dreamworld.

They do not draw the boundaries adults do between dreams, stories and making things up - and in this they are actually wiser than adults, since dreaming is not just about sleeping but about access to a deeper reality.

With my own kids, from when they could first talk, I have encouraged them to tell their stories - without interpretation or interruption - and to record them. The childhood journals that resulted are PRECIOUS. In the early pages, my kids did the pictures and I did the words; later they did both. Later still, I supported them in keeping their journals private.

The key things to know about helping kids with dreams are very simple:

1. Listen up! Do not interpret or categorize. Let them tell their stories, which is wonderful exercise for the imagination, great training in verbal skills, and will allow them to get out what they need to get out.

2. Give them something creative to do with the dream or story - make a picture, stage a little performance, visit the place they dreamed about.

3. If there is something scary that was bothering them in the night, give them a quick way to dispel any negative energy. A quick way to do this is to have the child literally spit it out – spitting outside on the ground or inside into the toilet. Or help the child to drawn an image of what bothered them and rip it up.

4. If they remain afraid of something inside their dreams, suggest they can take an ally with them into the dream space to help out. I offer young children a toy soldier or stuffed animal to play this role, and it’s amazing how well this works.